Day 5: Las Vegas, Portland

We started the day with the crowds at the MGM Grand breakfast buffet.  Breakfast was subtly different from the buffet at other times of the day; perhaps it’s the overnight hunger, or an overdose of gambling losses, but people were much more aggressive in getting their food. 

Afterwards, we took a taxi to The Little Church of the West Wedding Chapel.  Even at 11am in the morning, we arrived just as a wedding ceremony was ending.  The church itself is quite small and quaint; it’s just the location that makes it so peculiar.  Feeling strangely voyeuristic, we watched the lucky couple leaving the church and posing for photographs (which are, apparently, included in the price).

The downside of coming to the chapel by taxi was, of course, that there were no readily available chapels back to ‘the strip’.  Now, it may not look to be so far away on the above photograph, but, in the mid-day Vegas heat, it was quite some distance.  By the time that we arrived back at the MGM Grand for the final time, it was all we could do to overdose on ice cream until suitably sedated from our heat exposure.

In the air-conditioned taxi back to the airport; I was delighted to find that we were departing from the “D gates” (last visited during last year’s disaster) which meant that there would be chance for us to have the best burger and milkshake in America at Ruby’s Diner.  No photos of the food, sadly, but it’s fair to say that by the time we reached Portland, and our friend Sarah, I was feeling a little bloated and exhausted.

What did we make of Portland?  Whilst landing, we noticed such wonderful things as greenery and trees, which made the place feel like a whole different world to Vegas.  Far from being a small city in the north-west corner of America, Portland is surprisingly big but also quite low-rise; Sarah’s wonderful, smart and modern flat is in the Pearl District, a newly-emerging district that is being developed with some style.  Modern, clean and accessible: what a contrast to Vegas!

By the time we arrived, we were both ready to collapse.  Just time to take the modern Portland Streetcar, which is free to travel on as the local government encourage people not to take their cars.  We visited Deschutes Brewery; we managed to stay away from the beer, but not from their wonderful pulled pork sandwich.  Delicious food to sleep on.

Day 4: Las Vegas

Already in the routine of waking up in time to see the sunrise, we capitalised on being awake to head over to the famous breakfast buffet at the Paris Hotel.  The length of the queue is misleading: both the selection of and food itself is just average.  I enjoyed the caramel sauce for the waffles; Vicky worried that they were cooking that raw chicken a bit too close to the cooked sausages.

After breakfast, we took a visit to the Bellagio Hotel and marvelled again at the fountains.  Inside, we found elegance comparable, if not better than, the Venetian Hotel.  The Bellagio also afforded us good views of the Paris Hotel and the Eiffel Tower: whether half-size or two-thirds (it varies on the guidebook you read), it’s an impressive structure, if somewhat lost in the Vegas skyline.

It was time for a trip up the Eiffel Tower: after visiting the real thing a month earlier, I’m pleased to report this one has a few improvements: not least, hardly any queue and a single lift to the top, rather than the confusing and queue-friendly multi-instalment arrangement in the original.  It was great to take a view of Vegas from the top of the tower but truthfully, the real tower is a better spectacle in every respect. 

Afterwards, we took a visit to the Wynn Resort, which felt even smarter inside than the Bellagio Hotel, but perhaps with a little less atmosphere.  I guess any hotel which is topped with the signature of the developer can’t be perfect.  But then again, this is Vegas – they’ve build another wing next door, and it’s called “Encore”, again written in Mr Wynn’s handwriting.  Why not?

By this time, it was about 12pm and the heat outside was quite stifling. We retired back to the MGM for the afternoon, wanting to prepare ourselves for dinner in the Eiffel Tower Restaurant later in the evening.  In the end, we took too long before having an afternoon snack in the Studio Café.  At least the service was great: the waitress helpfully suggested that 12 chicken pieces would be too many.  Unfortunately, as it turns out, 6 chicken pieces was also too many to avoid spoiling dinner.

Dinner at 9pm was a mixed affair.  There’s no doubting that the Paris benefits massively from being opposite the Bellagio fountains.  Diners delight in having a great view of the show which runs every 15 minutes.  Service itself was mixed.  The waiters were polite and efficient, but we found ourselves stranded on arrival and I always felt like something of a second-class citizen after ordering a single glass a wine ($16) from a wine menu that included a bottle for $19,000.  No wonder the wine waiter didn’t spend too long at our table.

Our late afternoon spoiled our dinner massively: despite ordering modest food (me, smoked salmon and chicken; Vicky, shrimp & spaghetti and halibut & chorizo) we were completely unable to eat any substantial part of it.  It was such a shame, because there was no doubting that the Paris’ chicken was streets ahead of the MGM’s.  C’est la vie.

Day 3: Las Vegas

There’s something about sleeping in Las Vegas hotels that’s different from everywhere else in the world.  Yes, I know we’ve travelled back 8 hours and you expect some disruption, but I remain convinced that the air conditioning in Vegas hotels isn’t' “normal” and is contrived to wake you early each day, surely in the hope that you’ll gamble your life away downstairs in the casino.  Enough people do, that’s for sure.

Sure enough, we were both awake at 5am in good time to watch the sun rise over the distant mountains.  Vegas is such a strange place – a vast, sprawling town set literally in the middle of the desert.  Now developed, you can see many reasons for its continued prosperity.  It’s just strange to think what must have happened to have caused it to develop in the first place – surely it was easier for it not to have happened?

Thankfully, we managed to sleep some more and we took a late lunch at the hotel’s MGM Grand Buffet.  Hotel buffets in Vegas hotels defy description: their scale, in terms of tables and vast quantities of food spread over such a large area, mirrors Vegas itself.  Despite plenty of other choices (hotels typically have ten or more restaurants within them), the buffets are always aggressively priced (set price of $15 is typical for any meal, including drinks).  And the food is normally better than OK – nothing exceptional, but certainly good value and quite acceptable.

Our first trip on the Las Vegas Monorail took us to the Venetian Hotel.  The Venetian is surely one of Vegas’ smartest hotels – the decoration is simply impeccable – this example is the huge ceiling painting above the escalators.

 

The Venice theme has no apparent limits.  An artificial sky is complemented by an indoor canal, complete with gondola rides (expensive, but with no shortage of takers – just like the real Venice). 

By this time, I was very weary but Vicky manage to coerce me in to Jimmy Choo’s (they’re wonderful shoes, apparently) before we collapsed over a coffee (or Diet Pepsi, for the less sophisticated of us).

In a last-ditch attempt to wake myself up, I went on the New York-New York rollercoaster.   Afterwards, we headed back to the MGM and were surprised to find the Lion Habitat on show within the hotel.  Is it right to keep animals in a hotel?  We thought not, but apparently they are kept outside of Vegas and brought in each day.  I’m still not sure that makes it any more ‘right’, but it certainly pulls in the crowds.

Still in the fabled ‘corridor’, we struggled on to dinner a the Grand Wok in the hotel, before heading back to the Venetian for a performance by the Blue Man Group.  We’d both seen their show when it was on a couple of years ago back in London. 

Truthfully, we both thought the show was a little below their (high) London standards, and might have been lost on the unappreciative and unresponsive American audience.  What made the night for us was, having managed to avoid being selected for any audience participation in the show, we had the opportunity to meet with a ‘Blue Man’ after the show.  Vicky even got a little blue paint on her nose for her efforts.

After leaving the Blue Man, we had a quick look into the ballroom at the Venetian.  As regular blog-readers will know, this is where the famous “Monster night” took place in January 2007 and I took a photo of the room whilst we were there.  It looks big here, but it felt a 1,000 times bigger when I was making an impromptu speech bin front of the gathered audience on that night last year.

Day 2: San Francisco, Las Vegas

After a great night’s sleep and an over-priced breakfast at the Westin, we headed out and found the market at the Port of San Francisco.  Surprisingly pretty and varied, it was a mix of indoor and outdoor stalls and it gave us much more of a ‘feel’ for San Francisco.

Afterwards, I had the bright idea of taking a San Francisco tram back to the hotel to save rushing.  The old tram certainly saved us time, but the automatic ticket dispenser cost us some money – I didn’t know it didn’t give change, a lack of knowledge on my part that the driver found to be hilariously funny.

We collected our bags, took the BART and afterwards the flight to Las Vegas.  Always somewhat larger than life, our hotel (the MGM Grand) is apparently the biggest in the world with over 5,000 rooms.  Bewildered by the sheer size of the casino, we headed out for a walk down ‘the Strip’ – and even at 7pm at night, the heat was just astonishing!

We walked for as long as we could tolerate the heat (we just about made it far enough to see the Bellagio Hotel fountain show) before making our way to the restaurant I’d booked for dinner – Lawry’s Prime Rib.  I’d been before, on a previous work trip, and I’d remembered the food for being great.  Turned out to be a good shout – probably the best beef that either of us had ever eaten.

Given that I’d had some difficulties keeping Vicky awake during the meal, we admitted defeat after the main course and retired to bed. 

Day 1: San Francisco

We arrived in San Francisco mid-afternoon, and took the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) to the Westin Market Street hotel.  I knew as soon as we came out of the station that we’d done well: the hotel was right in the middle of the ‘downtown’ part of San Francisco, away from the touristy (and expensive) Fisherman’s Wharf.  This felt much more like ‘proper’ San Francisco.

After a long flight, the hotel was just perfect: it had a wonderfully huge and comfortable bed.  In fact, the challenge was not going to sleep: in the room at 4.30pm local time (12.30am Sunday morning, UK time), it was far too tempting to sleep straight away.  The risk of sleeping would be to wake up at 2am local time (10am Sunday, UK time) and have another holiday would be ruined by jetlag.

We agreed on the principle, so Vicky fetched a Starbucks to keep herself awake.  For her, this worked; I duly crashed, and by 6pm, I think we may have easily killed each other.  We compromised by agreeing to go out for some food and then coming back for sleep.  Wanting to sample an American burger but not from McDonald’s, we found a small, local chain called Pearl’s Diner. 

On Google Maps, it didn’t look so far away but truthfully, it was too far for jet-lagged legs.  We found it in the end; the restaurant was basic beyond basic, but the food was just great.

One more walk back to the hotel, and we slept wonderfully.  Killing the jetlag, and not each other. 

Day 1: “Ten hours with a Virgin”

During our flight out, we were entertained by Scott, a Virgin Atlantic air steward, who decided that he’d make the announcements a little more ‘interesting’. 

During the safety announcements

“In the event of cabin depressurisation, oxygen masks will drop down from above.  After you have finished screaming, carefully put the mask around your head and breathe normally – although I’m sure in these circumstances, you will all be hyperventilating already”.

“Be sure to fit your own oxygen mask before helping others, such as young children.  If you have more than one child with you today, now is the time to consider which one you love the most”.

“Your lifejacket has a light and, usefully, a whistle, which may be used to attract the attention any passing sailors”.

“In the event of them being required, the lifejacket is yours to keep with the compliments of Virgin Atlantic.  I can assure that your cabin crew will not be coming around the collect them afterwards”.

“Be sure to inflate your lifejacket after leaving the plane.  If you do it whilst in the plane, you will not only look like the Michelin Man, but it will certainly impede your exit”.

The first announcement by Scott’s colleague

“My name is Neil; whilst you’ve all enjoyed listening to Scott’s announcements, my style is somewhat straighter – in more ways than one”.

After we landed in San Francisco

“Be sure to tell your friends who you travelled with today; after all, it’s not every day that you can say that you’ve spent 10 hours with a Virgin”.

As we left the plane, I noticed a printed list of “jokes and gags” on top of the first class bar area.  I will always regret not picking it up and taking it with me – I’m sure it would have made writing this post a lot easier.